Beating kids to listen can be challenging, so it is essential that you identify who your target audience is and select topics which will pique their curiosity.
Your tone and body language have an effect on their reaction; shouting from across a room or house may not be the most effective means of communication.
Be Prepared
Prepare to learn a more effective method for getting your kids to listen. No more threats, pleas or shouting. Such techniques only serve to wear you both down; and it becomes difficult to listen when all parties involved are exhausted and angry – plus power struggles only make your child more resistant in future!
Instead of resorting to threats, try setting clear boundaries and outlining the consequences if your child doesn’t adhere to them. Kids tend to be curious and want to understand why things must be done; so giving a reason first may help them comply more easily – for instance: “If you don’t pick up and put away all your toys now, after school chores may need to be completed.”
Setting a timer can also provide your children with an incentive to complete tasks quickly and accurately, and don’t forget to praise them when they listen – particularly young children just learning how to communicate – so they know you appreciate their efforts and will likely listen next time around!
Be mindful that if your child is refusing to listen, it’s not out of defiance; more likely they are completely immersed in something else. Find out what is taking their focus so you can ensure they will listen when necessary; maybe they need to put down their iPad and talk with you about homework; or they could be engaged in playing video games that they have to finish before bedtime.
Be Direct
To get their attention, if you want your kids to listen it’s essential that you speak in person, with eye contact and in a calm tone of voice. Yelling will not only teach unhelpful communication patterns, but can also raise stress levels which cause children to disregard you further.
Instead, when asking your children to do something, be clear and direct in your request and explain briefly why it’s necessary (for instance, they won’t get to watch television or go outside if they don’t cooperate). Also make sure that there are consequences in place should they decide not to comply.
Young children especially benefit from receiving positive reinforcement when they comply with your requests, such as verbal praise and hugs, to motivate them to continue listening and respecting you. This fosters an environment in which both parties value the contributions made by both sides.
Your child might simply not hear you. This could be caused by wax buildup resulting in hearing loss, or it could indicate auditory processing disorder; to properly evaluate this matter it’s important to schedule an appointment with their pediatrician and get his or her opinion.
Whenever your child begins tuning you out, it is crucial that you try and understand why this is happening; oftentimes this lack of listening can be seen as the symptom of an underlying control issue that needs addressing. Otherwise, their bad behavior could escalate further into tantrums or backtalk; taking time to understand why they’re tuning you out will put you in a much stronger position to resolve their situation.
Be Consistent
Kids don’t always listen because we continue threatening, lecturing and exerting authority over them. This creates more resistance and resentment on both sides; plus it’s exhausting!
Once you’ve identified a method of encouraging cooperation without resorting to screaming, stick with it! It might take some practice but once mastered it will become second nature and go off more smoothly than ever.
Children need to understand that their actions have consequences if they refuse to heed your requests, such as setting an appropriate consequence in response. Be sure that this consequence fits the situation, and stick with it (barring any unexpected events). This approach can help ensure children listen, since their actions have consequences.
Sometimes when children don’t listen, their attention may simply be on something else entirely. To refocus their attention, you could try inviting them over so you can speak directly with them or offering an incentive like five minutes of screen time after completing homework. If they refuse, remind them that failing to listen could result in losing that privilege – this might encourage them to listen the second time around! No one likes being without something they enjoy!
Be Positive
Children respond well to positive reinforcement and encouragement for listening behaviors, and when children see that you are pleased by them, they’ll likely work toward repeating these good habits again in order to gain your approval. On the other hand, if you become angry with your child and start screaming at them repeatedly, they are likely to tune you out in future interactions and stop listening altogether.
Do not place too much focus on your child’s lack of listening; instead, try to identify its source. Perhaps she is so immersed in watching a movie or playing Legos that she doesn’t hear you when you ask her to come to dinner.
Positive reinforcement and using a clear, firm tone of voice are the keys to getting your children to listen. Yelling and threats only escalate the situation further and cause strong-willed children to resist your commands even further.
Consider also that your child could be struggling to listen due to physical or mental health issues; such as hearing loss or wax buildup in their ears that interferes with hearing. If your child’s difficulty listening continues to impact their daily life, it would be wise to seek additional assistance from a specialist. At its core, teaching your children to listen requires patience and consistency – but it’s worth investing the effort! Successful communication requires building strong listening skills as part of healthy relationships in the long term. So invest your time learning about effective strategies for getting kids to listen – then put these tips into action today – you won’t regret your effort in the long run!
Be Rewarding
One of the primary challenges parents encounter in getting their kids to listen is because they don’t understand their children’s true needs. If a child feels as if you aren’t listening, they may tune out or start acting differently towards you, so it is vital that parents get to know their child well so they can truly step into their shoes and understand them as individuals.
Instead of punishing their behavior, identify what’s behind their inattention and figure out how best to meet that need in different ways. For instance, if they refuse to leave the playground when asked, instead of being overbearing and demanding they pick up all their toys immediately (e.g. “Can’t you pick them up now”) try telling them that if they come back back without making excuses they can play longer without restriction from you.
Your children can learn to listen better by being praised when they do listen, encouraging positive behavior and increasing cooperation in the future. Try telling them, “Thank you for listening so quickly when I asked you to turn off the television!” This simple affirmation will teach your children how to listen effectively.
As much as possible, avoid yelling to get your kids’ attention. Yelling can reinforce unhelpful communication patterns, increase stress levels and lead to your requests being disregarded altogether. If you cannot give instructions in an effective and respectful manner yourself, seek professional assistance or consult a counselor for guidance. Keep an open and loving relationship with your children while setting clear boundaries and disciplining when necessary.
